Monday, 20 August 2007

Why does my heart feel so bad?

I don't know how close the boy is to the end. But Sunday felt like we took a significant step in that direction.

He had been fine in the morning and had gone to the hospital for his antibiotic. When he got back he didn't look too good and so we got him to sit on the sofa to watch DVDs. He was very lethargic but eventually perked up after a couple of hours and ibuprofen. But when he got off the sofa he could not stand up unaided.

His balance has never been brilliant but he has managed. But this time he needed to hold on to things to stop falling over. He did recover a bit later in the day but his balance is definitely worse than it was on Saturday. The pressure from the tumour must be building up.

The wife and I are very upset. Made coming home yesterday something to dread. Fearful of what will have changed during the day. He doesn't look the boy he was two months ago. Makes you so, so pessimistic of where we will be by the end of September. But with all our worries, the boy remains cheerful and happy to play when I got home. I told him l loved him last night. He screwed his face up seriously and said "I like you too Dada." Makes me want to cry.

1 comment:

Holestar said...

I've only just read your blog. Found it surprising and very moving.
I had no idea why you hadn't been out in such a long time on Saturday and find it amazing that you came and bought a bunch of virtual strangers a drink.
You're a legend pal.

All the best to you and your family