Paint The Silence

The boy has got back into painting after a long break. The wife bought new brushes, paints and paper plates to paint on. Good to see him back at it, even if his hand-eye coordination is not what it was. And he tires much more quickly than he did even a couple of weeks ago. This is making him very reluctant to go outside or walk up the stairs.

It is a curious thing. The tumour is on the brain stem. This means that it affects lower brain function - balance, breathing, vocal cords and his right eye. But his higher brain functions are unaffected. He is learning new words and extending his sentences at the same time as his ability to say them declines.

I thought that I was prepared for the end. Goodness knows, I've spend enought time thinking about it over the last two years. But I'm just not. I am less and less distracted by work. Wanting not to be there. But finding being with the boy harder and so so upsetting.