Sunday, 22 July 2007

The lion sleeps tonight

There are times when it seems that we are anticipating the boy's end too much.

He is still not recovered from his chest infection and needs oxygen overnight. But despite this, the wife was very keen for Oma and auntie m to come and see the boy. She wanted them to see him while he is as he is now and not when he's in decline. She rather pressurised them into making the visit.

I gave them some time to talk by taking the boy out shopping and then to aunties before returning home. The boy looked very tired and wanted to cling to Mummy on returning. He did gain confidence after a while but was not quite on top form. Even with the car with the roof that goes up and down. Was worn out after they left and sat quietly watching TV. His temperature went up before bedtime. Paracetamol controlled it but he needed a fair bit of oxygen overnight.

Been fretting about whether we should have gone for more chemo for the boy to extend his life. Had been suggested by another parent in a similar position. Matched my own worries. But, the trachy is always the worry from chest infections. More than likely this chest infection would have put him in hospital already. But without chemo we end up with less time overall. Just never ever clear cut 'right' answers.

1 comment:

Thomas, as told to Sarah said...

You'll probably never stop second guessing this decision.

But with that said, for our family, chemo was torture. Given the roller coaster your family has already been on, I can see a lot of wisdom and love in choosing to treasure and protect the time you have.